Morality & Perfect Diplomacy
Oy, I've bit off more beef than I could chew. There are times when I'm "in-the-wrong," and times when I'm "in-the-right," but what I aim for is to be "in-the-money" for a long, long time...and that has nothing to with anything.
I. Morality
This is a very important concept to me, due to the fact that I strive to be the best person (in all aspects) that I could be. I want to exude integrity, leak goodness, and be the sweetest honey.
At AX, there were many chances to do the wrong thing. I did not give in to temptation, though I could have:
1) jacked some badges as a volunteer to avoid working my full 8 hours.
2) skipped out on some of my hours or misreported them (we actually did not turn in a check deposit because the guy didn't take care of it - this wasn't a problem because we fulfilled all our hours).
3) worked very little and just stand around as a volunteer, which would be no better than a piece of broccoli lying in the middle of the hall at the con.
The action of turning off one's evil conscience is simple for some, difficult for others. I will admit that it was a struggle between my angel and my devil, and the angel prevailed...for that weekend.
Hooray for morals. I proved my own strength of character, and even without posting this detailed information, I have gained satisfaction from being honest and hardworking. Or, I'm just tooting my own horn. It's good to live a life of integrity.
II. Perfect Diplomacy
I have experienced too many instances where a person has confronted me with an angry or condescending tone. I finally know how to react to those instances, when I used to feel frustrated for others choosing to take out their angry emotions on me.
In high school, I said something extremely upfront, and a bit rude, to a friend (online conversation). (Thankfully, I've gained an understanding of diplomacy and learned people skills since then, heh.) Then, it was quite uncalled for when the person's friend jumped into our private conversation to offset my assumption about another person I mentioned offhand. To me, this is the American way - barging into other people's business, policing them, and thinking you're the boss who can save the world. I did feel bad for saying things to my friend, but I think the cold war is finally over.
Lesson #1: Don't talk about a person in rude ways - if you want to make suggestions for self-improvement, bring it up gently.
Lesson #2: Don't barge into other people's business, when you were never mentioned in the conversation; don't even try to "save" a person in a conversation when nothing BAD was being said about them.
Then, this year in college, I was treated to a condescending tirade by a peer. I was merely trying to bring up an issue to someone of a higher position, but this person kept cutting me down and down. I was lower than a tree stump. The person said, "Why didn't you...this and that...? You need to..." I don't remember all the words that were said, but they created a huge atom bomb of anger waiting to be released. I tried to resolve all my feelings by talking it out and I suppose it worked. Later, though, someone else of an even higher power stepped in and apologized for that person and explained the situation.
Lesson #3: Don't ever take other people's bad attitudes personally. If you haven't done anything blameworthy, it's probably not your fault that they're so mean/angry/hateful/etc.
Lesson #4: Furthermore, when people verbally battle it out with you, do not fight back and lash out at them. Fight back with a stern tone, but without sharp, curt words you might regret later. There are things said that change the dynamics of relationships after they're said...and things might not be the same thereafter.
Just today, another instance of this ongoing diplomacy battle ensued. I misunderstood the instructions for my part in the group project (and I really should have done more for my part). In class, during break, when I was asking about changing up my Powerpoint slide, the person in charge of it lashed out at me, yelling, "How come you did NOTHING?!" I was taken aback with these angry words. I was offended, for sure, because our group member was sitting right next to me, whilst the person was yelling at me. There were still a few people in the room. I was beyond mortified, to be honest. The person continued by saying what I didn't do - that I only pasted the notes onto a document with a few "icons," stating that I did not much else. The truth is, I misheard the person - thought the notes were already done and all I had to do was write it on a slide. However, I did some research for the other portion I worked on, but I didn't notify EVERYONE of what I did. So I told the person, "I sent you the document on Thursday night, when you said you wanted it Saturday night. Why didn't you tell me to add more to it?" Then, the person said, "I didn't check until Sunday night...at the computer lab with the group." Then, in a hushed, bitter tone, muttered, "You didn't even show up to the meeting last night." I didn't have anything else to say to defend myself, so I just said, "...Sorry" and turned around and ignored the person for the rest of the day. For the rest of that class period, I could NOT focus at all. However, I'm fine now. The person had a bad day or something happened, since the person was gone from class, calling on a cell phone for a LONG time, and had been sniffling/wiping eyes in class. As much as I would feel sympathy, I don't really. In fact, I don't care anymore, but I learned some more valuable lessons.
Lesson #5: Do not confront a person in a public space, especially when others are present. This makes people feel humiliated and hateful about the person who said these cruel things to them. In the end, though, it is the yeller who looks bad.
Lesson #6: [Offered by a good friend.] In group projects, make sure everyone knows what you're doing at all times (and that you've volunteered for projects). Clarify everything by asking questions. That way, if people are unsatisfied with your work in the end, it is "their bad" for not having given you the correct guidance.
With groupwork, I'm usually pretty good with it, but if there are too many leaders and dispersed directions, one tends to sit back. No more shall I do this - I will be more interactive and engaged with group projects from now until the end of life.
Ultimately, there have thankfully only been a few instances where I've uttered regretful words; those were uttered long ago and the damage is slowly fading. I have learned from my mistakes and I hope to continue developing my interpersonal skills.
I. Morality
This is a very important concept to me, due to the fact that I strive to be the best person (in all aspects) that I could be. I want to exude integrity, leak goodness, and be the sweetest honey.
At AX, there were many chances to do the wrong thing. I did not give in to temptation, though I could have:
1) jacked some badges as a volunteer to avoid working my full 8 hours.
2) skipped out on some of my hours or misreported them (we actually did not turn in a check deposit because the guy didn't take care of it - this wasn't a problem because we fulfilled all our hours).
3) worked very little and just stand around as a volunteer, which would be no better than a piece of broccoli lying in the middle of the hall at the con.
The action of turning off one's evil conscience is simple for some, difficult for others. I will admit that it was a struggle between my angel and my devil, and the angel prevailed...for that weekend.
Hooray for morals. I proved my own strength of character, and even without posting this detailed information, I have gained satisfaction from being honest and hardworking. Or, I'm just tooting my own horn. It's good to live a life of integrity.
II. Perfect Diplomacy
I have experienced too many instances where a person has confronted me with an angry or condescending tone. I finally know how to react to those instances, when I used to feel frustrated for others choosing to take out their angry emotions on me.
In high school, I said something extremely upfront, and a bit rude, to a friend (online conversation). (Thankfully, I've gained an understanding of diplomacy and learned people skills since then, heh.) Then, it was quite uncalled for when the person's friend jumped into our private conversation to offset my assumption about another person I mentioned offhand. To me, this is the American way - barging into other people's business, policing them, and thinking you're the boss who can save the world. I did feel bad for saying things to my friend, but I think the cold war is finally over.
Lesson #1: Don't talk about a person in rude ways - if you want to make suggestions for self-improvement, bring it up gently.
Lesson #2: Don't barge into other people's business, when you were never mentioned in the conversation; don't even try to "save" a person in a conversation when nothing BAD was being said about them.
Then, this year in college, I was treated to a condescending tirade by a peer. I was merely trying to bring up an issue to someone of a higher position, but this person kept cutting me down and down. I was lower than a tree stump. The person said, "Why didn't you...this and that...? You need to..." I don't remember all the words that were said, but they created a huge atom bomb of anger waiting to be released. I tried to resolve all my feelings by talking it out and I suppose it worked. Later, though, someone else of an even higher power stepped in and apologized for that person and explained the situation.
Lesson #3: Don't ever take other people's bad attitudes personally. If you haven't done anything blameworthy, it's probably not your fault that they're so mean/angry/hateful/etc.
Lesson #4: Furthermore, when people verbally battle it out with you, do not fight back and lash out at them. Fight back with a stern tone, but without sharp, curt words you might regret later. There are things said that change the dynamics of relationships after they're said...and things might not be the same thereafter.
Just today, another instance of this ongoing diplomacy battle ensued. I misunderstood the instructions for my part in the group project (and I really should have done more for my part). In class, during break, when I was asking about changing up my Powerpoint slide, the person in charge of it lashed out at me, yelling, "How come you did NOTHING?!" I was taken aback with these angry words. I was offended, for sure, because our group member was sitting right next to me, whilst the person was yelling at me. There were still a few people in the room. I was beyond mortified, to be honest. The person continued by saying what I didn't do - that I only pasted the notes onto a document with a few "icons," stating that I did not much else. The truth is, I misheard the person - thought the notes were already done and all I had to do was write it on a slide. However, I did some research for the other portion I worked on, but I didn't notify EVERYONE of what I did. So I told the person, "I sent you the document on Thursday night, when you said you wanted it Saturday night. Why didn't you tell me to add more to it?" Then, the person said, "I didn't check until Sunday night...at the computer lab with the group." Then, in a hushed, bitter tone, muttered, "You didn't even show up to the meeting last night." I didn't have anything else to say to defend myself, so I just said, "...Sorry" and turned around and ignored the person for the rest of the day. For the rest of that class period, I could NOT focus at all. However, I'm fine now. The person had a bad day or something happened, since the person was gone from class, calling on a cell phone for a LONG time, and had been sniffling/wiping eyes in class. As much as I would feel sympathy, I don't really. In fact, I don't care anymore, but I learned some more valuable lessons.
Lesson #5: Do not confront a person in a public space, especially when others are present. This makes people feel humiliated and hateful about the person who said these cruel things to them. In the end, though, it is the yeller who looks bad.
Lesson #6: [Offered by a good friend.] In group projects, make sure everyone knows what you're doing at all times (and that you've volunteered for projects). Clarify everything by asking questions. That way, if people are unsatisfied with your work in the end, it is "their bad" for not having given you the correct guidance.
With groupwork, I'm usually pretty good with it, but if there are too many leaders and dispersed directions, one tends to sit back. No more shall I do this - I will be more interactive and engaged with group projects from now until the end of life.
Ultimately, there have thankfully only been a few instances where I've uttered regretful words; those were uttered long ago and the damage is slowly fading. I have learned from my mistakes and I hope to continue developing my interpersonal skills.
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