The Phoenix Rises

"Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail."  — Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's over. My mind is disjointed in a multitude of ways. Initially, the feeling was: to what end did I pursue this endeavor? I worked so hard, built this team and product, so why did I "give up" so quickly?

I feel relieved, yet wistful, with a tinge of sadness. The sentiment fits in somewhere between a breakup and a graduation, both with a journey and the anticipation for something more. Yet, that "expected thing" never materialized, but a warm and fuzzy feeling of understanding and gratitude became the takeaway from this grand adventure.

Invisible reader, what would you rather do: carry on with an endeavor you've strived so hard to create and grow even though progress has been halted, or devote your resources elsewhere so that you can start anew?

In the startup world, the denizens hail the ideology of "fail fast," so that one can take those lessons gained and pursue the next thing with minimal loss of funds and time. Honestly, I failed rather slowly. It was a good run of almost 2.5 years.

Why didn't it work out in the end? Simply:

• No product progress in half a year.
• Lack of engineering talent.
• No visionary leader to bear financial and legal responsibility.
• No capital.

Those reasons kept the company from moving forward, but there were additional considerations that prevented us from achieving that coveted hockey-stick growth:

• Lack of Market Differentiation/No Strong Hook: 
• We didn't find the holy grail of features that would persuade users to utilize us regularly.
• Lack of Motivation:
• We hired certain engineers with great hopes, but they didn't deliver. As a result, their lack of effort brought team morale down because the most important parts of the product were contingent on completion of their tasks.
• Lack of Dedication:
• Several members of the core team contributed regularly with a hefty workload, but there were also team members that did the bare minimum to stay on the team. 
• Speed to Market:
• This is an issue of time (and potentially funding). Because we were all on a part-time basis, the companies that made similar software could ship quickly, and we were lean, but could not keep up because of constraints.
• Unable to Get Traction:
• Our platform was free, but we had difficulty maintaining traction.
• Not Enough Testing:
• We regularly spoke with potential users, but could have done a better job of evaluating user needs.

What will I do differently next time?

• Perform deep market research and better understand the market.
• Create a product that hooks users.
• Be a better leader and role model.
• Show more dedication.
• Learn to understand team needs and drive motivation.
• Be better at letting people go if they don't contribute at the caliber that is expected.
• More testing.

[Insert emphatic pause to allow for wiping of leaky eyes.]
I wrote a song long, long ago when I felt hopeless, to remind myself to continue dreaming and taking action toward those dreams. There's much to do in my ever-growing list of lifelong endeavors.

To wrap things up, at our last advisor meeting, our advisor asked us a couple of thought-provoking questions:

1. What did you learn?
2. What are you most proud of?

I replied:

1. I learned that investigating the competitors in your industry is very important before jumping head-first into the venture. It's also of utmost importance to define and understand what special element helps you differentiate from other potential competitors, and to define your target market.
2. I am most proud of our branding and everything I and the team did to get the word out. We were featured on several tech blogs, showcased at many events (some were national competitions), and whenever we demo'd, there would be people who would come up to us to say they've heard of us before.

My co-founder's responses were very interesting. He said that his learning from his very first venture was that he couldn't do it alone. His learning from this venture was that you had to have someone who went "all in" to make it work.

As an extension to the second question above, I am also proud to have:

1. Achieved brand and blog recognition.
2. Designed beautiful and intuitive web and mobile software.
3. Worked with a large distributed team, all on equity.

I'm very fortunate to have gained these experiences at the time I did. One of our advisors expressed it in a beautifully poignant way when she said that the experience is a gift we'll carry to other parts of our lives.

I'm very grateful for these life and entrepreneurial lessons, and I know that the next time I take on another venture, I'll do better. The phoenix will rise again. Soon.